He Thinks: "Have I got what it takes to keep her intrested in me for a lifetime?
She Thinks: " I'm so in love with him, I wonder if he feels the same way"
COMMON BREAK UP PROBLEMS REPORTED FOR MEN AND WOMEN
| HE SAYS | SHE SAYS |
| Everything was regarding her feelings. She made me feel totally controlled | He became so cold and isolated completely detaching from me. I didn’t feel safe opening up my emotions to him any longer |
| She becomes extremely emotional and doesn’t make any sense at all | He never listens to what I say he only wants to offer solutions before he’s even heard me |
| In the beginning she was so responsive and passionate. Now I feel I have to fill out a form and do a check list before I have sex | He fears intimacy because every time we get closer he would pull away from me and shut me out |
| She was high maintenance because whatever I did wasn’t ever good enough. She would always find something wrong with whatever I did | Everything started out fine and then he changed completely |
| Everything was always about her feelings, she was too needy and I felt totally controlled | He became so cold, distant and detached. He was so self centred that eventually he wasn’t even interested in my life or my feelings anymore |
RADICAL RESPONSES TO STRESS
| MEN | WOMEN |
| Shift gears, disengage emotionally and forget their problems | Become compelled to connect emotionally, ask questions and share problems by talking |
BEING IN LOVE STIMULATES HORMONES IN MEN AND WOMEN THAT LOWERS STRESS LEVELS
ANDRENALIN AND CORTISOL – RED ALERT HORMONES
Adrenalin and cortisol serve an important survival function in life – and-death situations, but the body isn’t designed to accommodate the continual release of stress hormones. When we are under unrelenting but not life threatening stress, these hormones are still released, and over time they disrupt our digestive and immune systems, resulting in lower energy and susceptibility to illness. With long-term stress, cortisol and adrenaline create unhealthy fluctuations in our blood sugar levels that can produce:
· Moodiness
· Mild depression
· A sense of urgency
· Irritability
· Anxiety
· General distress
All of these can affect our relationships
Below is a list of how stress affects us and our relationships:
· Mild depression restricts our passion
· A sense of urgency takes away our patience and flexibility – there’s nothing worse than when
our men make us feel like they’re catching a train during sex
· A sense of distress, anxiety or panic greatly affects our ability to be happy, content and relaxed
· Irritability overshadows our feelings of affection, appreciation and tenderness
· Decreased energy limits how much we can freely give of ourselves
· With unstable blood sugar levels, our moods either become flat or roller coaster too much
· Men lose interest in the relationship, while women feel overwhelmed with too much to do and
too little time or support
If you'd like to learn how to relate better to your man - eliminating stress, evoking more love and emotion - book your seat for The Cunning Linguist
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